“The only way to heal them is through self-love. It’s your responsibility to heal yourself, no one else can do it for you. Ask yourself, “Where am I falling short? “What do I want more in my life?” Don’t be afraid to settle for more because you are so worth it.”

by Gretchen Peiffer, contributor

If you heal your past trauma and work on the patterns that come along with them, you will attract healthy and meaningful relationships. Always be open minded. If you do, you may find your true self like I did. You can’t avoid triggers and suppress them. Acknowledge they are there and be compassionate with yourself.

Every time I got triggered, it was a reminder that I was ignoring my own needs or true self. Triggers made me more self-aware.

The only way to heal them is through self-love. It’s your responsibility to heal yourself, no one else can do it for you. Ask yourself, “Where am I falling short? “What do I want more in my life?” Don’t be afraid to settle for more because you are so worth it.

I discovered it were only the wounds and the patterns I had that told me I was unworthy. Moving through this has led me to abundance.

I feel more balanced and at peace because I started to embrace who I am, including my Filipino side which I mostly neglected.

It wasn’t easy growing up as mixed-race half Filipina half Belgian. I often felt misunderstood and judged. The best moment of my awakening must have been when I have discovered I resonated more with the Filipino values and culture. I felt a strong pull within.

The best thing I could do no matter how hard, scary and painful it was to move through all of it to come out on the other side as a light to inspire others and share my journey. Especially Filipinos because they have this energy that is worth sharing to the world.

By doing the inner work I found out that it was my belief system and patterns that I needed to work on. The more I was paying attention and became self-aware the more I was able to identify the parts that I was trying to hide. I managed to get rid of the resistant energy it only made me tired and go against who I am.

All answers are to find within but the people around us are like mirrors through there energy that can lit our inner spark and glow again. I only needed to allow them to put my guard down. Luckily I was open enough to realize that the people around us show us where we are blocking ourselves.

I am embracing and acknowledging the Filipino side fully. People around me will continue to give me signs when I will be out of alignment and will have to put that switch on again.

I am beyond grateful I learned how to move through the triggers. I learned to accept them as a part of me. Revealing my true self and values. It’s when you learn how to embrace yourself, acknowledge who you truly are, the good and bad, that you become comfortable being yourself. It’s about becoming self-sufficient by taking care of your own needs yourself.

I am no longer afraid to lose people, in fact, I am more afraid of losing myself in others. That’s why I am watching my energy, being aware of where it goes. I have taken my energy back and focused it more on myself.

In the past, most of the people couldn’t handle my energy because I was too bright, and my energy felt pure. I am now aware I must have triggered them. The truth is you will never be too much for those who resonate with your energy.

When I become triggered next time, I will go within and ask myself why it triggered me. I would never allow this to affect me or change who I am and how I feel about myself. I am now aware, it’s just a projection of someone else’s pain.


How’s the Weather Today?

I often ask and get asked the question – “How’s the weather like over there today?”

This is a most welcome conversation-starter with someone.  We are scattered all over the place, and it would be nice to know what the weather is like somewhere else, aside from what the other person is doing or busy with at the moment.

I often like to extend this conversation by asking the other person which season they prefer – summer or winter? dry or wet? hot or cold?  The conversation then becomes more involved, interesting, even animated at times. 

We get the lowdown on the pros and cons of either season.  This is based mainly on the responses I get from family and friends, and strangers too.  

So, let’s get on to it.  

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Why Conversations are Good for You


Reach out! Talk to someone! Start a conversation!

Whether it be just a simple phone call, a chat over online messaging, a catch up over coffee, start talking.

Studies and Research have actually found that this communication is good, not just for physical fitness, but also for mental health and emotional well-being.

When you have a conversation with someone, your body literally relaxes.  Your organs slow down, your blood pressure lowers, your heart rate stabilizes, your level of stress, anxiety and tension decreases, you become more energised, and that headache you just had an hour ago?  Gone.  Your shakes or twitch?  Gone.  

When you have a conversation with someone, your state of mind is more focused instead of foggy, your cognitive function and memory improves,  you become more organised and a better problem-solver, you gain other perspectives, and broaden your knowledge.  You have clarity.

When you have a conversation with someone, you feel lighter in your chest.  You feel a weight has been taken off of your shoulders.  You are less angry and have less grudges.  You feel both valid and valued, appreciated and loved.  You feel whole and complete.  You understand that you are enough. You resolve conflict and make connections.  Your heart may even flutter – in a good way.  You cheer up.  You become less lonely, and instead happy-er.


You & I

Whether you are a writer or a reader, you may be wondering what the proper use of  the pronoun I versus pronoun You in a sentence is.  Sometimes, it can spell the difference between a good and a bad read.  At first glance, they appear to be one and the same, and interchangeable: if you were to create either a new post or article, you’d be hard-pressed to  come up with the correct word.  With nearly identical uses and in many cases the appearance of You and I will be the same.

Don’t let this fool you. This is not an easy exercise.  There’s a very fundamental difference between the two and that is emotion.

Make sure you know what you want to portray in a written message.  Do you want to make them feel less or more connected to you, the messenger?  Do you want to convey a personal experience?  Or do you seek to convey a suggestion or command?  Are you trying to be subjective or objective?  What is the point of view?

Writing can be tricky, but with the right idea/s in mind, and a little bit of help, it should be fine.  

Think about the kind of material that you usually read.   Make note of how this makes you feel, what it makes you think about, and the overall reading experience.   

The use of  a particular pronoun will usually show a writer’s personality, and  can be a window to their soul too.

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